Hoy fue cheverazo mi dia, llovio bastante, estoy medio enfermo, no fui a estudiar, entonces quede en la caleta de vago todo el dia, en mi cama, con la laptop jodiendo en internet, ordenando comida a domicilio, la bola de cosas mas y se puso mejor gracias a un pana que ha tenido una película arrechisima que me habia olvidado que existia. (Dialogos cortesia de wikiquote, osea, wikipedia mas claro)
HE AQUÍ UNOS EJEMPLOS DE ESTA OBRA MAESTRA:
SABEN CUAL ES??? (Premio: un pan con mortadela mas un bonice)
Black Knight
Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: Then you shall die.
King Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
Black Knight: I move... for no man.
King Arthur: So be it! [rounds of melee, with Arthur cutting off the left arm of the black knight.]
King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Black Knight: Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur: A scratch?! Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No it isn't.
King Arthur: Well what's that then? [Pointing to the knight's arm lying on the ground.]
Black Knight: I've had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on then, you pansy! [Charges Arthur, who chops the knight's remaining arm off.]
King Arthur: Victory is mine! [kneels and starts to pray...] We thank thee Lord, that in thy — [is kicked in the head by the armless knight.]
Black Knight: Come on then!
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: Have at you! [Kicks Arthur]
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, good Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oooohhh, had enough, eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!!!
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound. [Continues to kick and taunt Arthur]
King Arthur: Stop that!
Black Knight: Chicken! Chicken!
King Arthur: Look, I'll have your leg. [Recieves a very sharp kick] RIGHT! [Chops off one of the black knight's legs]
Black Knight: Right! I'll do you for that!
King Arthur: You'll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you going to do, bleed on me?!
Black Knight: I'm invinsable!!!
King Arthur: You're a looney.
Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then. [Hopping on one leg towards King Arthur] [King Arthur chops his other leg off, leaving his body upright on the ground.]
Black Knight: Alright, we'll call it a draw.
King Arthur: Come, Patsy!
Black Knight: Oh, oh I see. Running away, eh?! You yellow bastards!!! Come back here and take what's coming to you!!! I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!!!
Rabbit of Caerbannog
[The "horses" shudder and whinny]
Galahad: They're nervous, sire.
Arthur: Then we'd best leave them here and carry on on foot. Dis-mount!
[The knights "dismount" and approach a scary looking cave. Bones are littered about the entrance.]
Tim: Behold the Cave of Caerbannog!
Arthur: Right! Keep me covered.
Galahad: What with?
Arthur: W— just keep me covered.
Tim: Too late! [dramatic chord]
Arthur: What?
Tim: There he is! [A little white rabbit emerges from the cave.]
Arthur: Where?
Tim: There.
Arthur: What, behind the rabbit?
Tim: It is the rabbit. [pause]
Arthur: You silly sod!
Tim: What?
Arthur: You got us all worked up!
Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit! That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Robin: You tit! I soiled my armour, I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer!!!
Galahad: Get stuffed!
Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
Galahad: Oh, yeah?
Robin: Manky Scotts git!
Tim: I'm warning you!
Robin: What's he do, nibble your bum?
Tim: He's got huge, sharp — eh — He can leap about — Look at the bones!
Arthur: Go on, Bors. Chop its head off.
Bors: Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
Tim: Look! [The rabbit squeaks and attacks Bors.]
Bors: AAAAAAUUGH!! [Bors falls as his head rolls off his body from the rabbit's attack.]
Arthur: JESUS CHRIST!
Tim: I warned you.
Robin: I done it again!
Tim: I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?! Well, it's always the same. I always tell them —
Arthur: Oh, shut up!
Tim: Do they listen to me?
Arthur: Right!
Tim: Oh, no...
Arthur/Knights: CHAAAAAAARGE!
[The knights charge at the rabbit and random carnage begins.]
Knights: AAAAAAH! AAAAAURRRGH!, etc.
Arthur/Knights: Run away! Run away!
The Bridge of Death (Old man from scene 24)
Arthur and the Knights are travelling through a rocky valley. Up ahead they spot the Old Man from Scene 24, guarding a bridge which spans a scary-looking gorge.]
Sir Lancelot: There it is. The Bridge of Death!
King Arthur: It's the Old Man from Scene 24.
Sir Robin: What's he doing here?
King Arthur: He is the Keeper of the Bridge of Death. He asks five questions —
Sir Galahad: Three questions.
King Arthur: ... sorry, three questions to approaching travellers. Those who correctly answer the five questions —
Sir Galahad: Three questions.
King Arthur: ... three questions may cross in safety.
Sir Robin: What if you get a question wrong?
King Arthur: [glances at the gorge] Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril!
Sir Robin: Oh. Right-ho.
King Arthur: So, who's going to answer first? Robin.
Sir Robin: What?
King Arthur: Brave Sir Robin. You go.
Sir Robin: Hey, wait a minute! I've got a great idea! Why doesn't Lancelot go?
Sir Lancelot: [to Arthur] Yes, my liege. I shall take him single-handed. I shall make a small U-turn to the Bridge —
King Arthur: Whoa, hey, hey, HANG ON! Just answer the five questions —
Sir Galahad: Three questions.
King Arthur: ... sorry, three questions as best you can. We shall watch, and pray. Good luck, Sir Lancelot! God be with you! [Lancelot makes his way towards the Bridge.]
Bridgekeeper: STOP! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: [Suddenly friendly] Right. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. [crosses the Bridge]
Sir Robin: That's easy! [He approaches the Bridge. The others follow him.]
Bridgekeeper: STOP! Whoever approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the
other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, Bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
Sir Robin: I don't know that! AAAAAAAAHHH! [is cast into the gorge by an invisible force]
[Arthur and the other Knights realise that this will not be as easy as they thought. Galahad then approaches the Bridge.]
Bridgekeeper: STOP! What... is your name?
Sir Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Galahad: Blue. No, yellOOOOOOOW!! [is cast into the gorge]
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. STOP! What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is Arthur, King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I — I don't know that! EEEEEEAAAARRGH!!! [is cast into the gorge]
Sir Bedevere: [to Arthur] How do you know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
Sir Lancelot
King of Swamp Castle: One day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
King: No, not the curtains, lad.
King: I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started, all I had was SWAMP! Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em! It sank into the swamp, so... I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. I built a third one. It burned down, fell over, and THEN it sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up! And that's what you're going to get, lad — the strongest castle on these islands!
King: Listen, lad, in twenty minutes you're going to be married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
Prince Herbert: But I don't want land.
King: Listen, Alice...
Prince Herbert: Herbert.
King: Herbert. We built this castle on a bloody swamp, we need all the land we can get!
Prince Herbert: But I don't like her.
King: Don't like her? What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful... she's rich... she's got huge... [Gestures to his chest] tracts of land.
[Sir Lancelot and Concord are walking through the woods. Suddenly, an arrow strikes Concord in the heart.]Concord: Message for you, sir.
Sir Lancelot: Fair Concord! You shall not have died in vain!
Concord: I'm not quite dead yet, sir.
Sir Lancelot: (surprised) Oh... well, then, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain -
Concord: Actually, I could pull through, sir.
Sir Lancelot: Oh I see...
Concord: In fact, sir, I think I'm alright to come with you.
Sir Lancelot: No no, sweet Concord. You must stay here! I'll go and get help.
Concord: I feel fine, sir-
Lancelot: (interupting) Farewell, sweet Concord! (runs off)
Concord: I'll just stay here then, shall I sir? Right.
Lancelot: [Bursts into the Prince's room and kneels before him after killing the guards and
massacring the guests] Oh, fair one, behold your humble servant, Sir Lancelot of Camelot. I have come to take... [looks up and realizes who he's kneeling before] Oh, I'm terribly sorry!
Prince Herbert: You got my note!
Lancelot: Uh, well, I got a note.
Prince Herbert: You've come to rescue me!
Lancelot: Well, no, you see, I...
Prince Herbert: I knew someone would! I knew that somewhere out there, there must be someone who... [Music swells]
King: Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! [Music stops] Who are you?
Prince Herbert: I'm your son!
King: No, not you!
Lancelot: I am Sir Lancelot, sir.
Prince Herbert: He's come to rescue me, father!
Lancelot: Well, let's not jump to conclusions.
King: Did you kill all those guards?
Lancelot: Um... oh, yes! Sorry.
King: They cost fifty pounds each!
Lancelot: Well, the thing is, I thought your son was a lady.
King: I can understand that.
King: You only killed the bride's father, that's all!
Lancelot: Well, I didn't mean to.
King: Didn't mean to?! You put your sword right through his head!
Lancelot: Oh dear... is he all right?
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA QUE BUENA PELICULA JAJAJAJAJAJAJA LA MEJOR DE TODAS DE CABALLEROS JAJAJAJAJAJAAJ ESTOS 4 VIDEOS SON LAS MEJORES PARTES DE LA PELICULA JAJAJAJA
La película es Monty Python and the Holy Grail, que arrechura de pelicula, te matas de la risa, una de las que nunca me cansaria de ver una y otra vez. Si no la han visto es cien por ciento recomendada, es mas, aquí les dejo unos videos que ha habido en youtube y los dialogos que me saque de wikipedia. Espero que se maten de la risa recordando si que ya la han visto, y si no, que esperas, sal de tu casa con un dólar y haz negocio a tu proveedor pirata de confianza mas cercano.
P.D. Si no puedes conseguir la pelicula, en los comentarios en haloscan puse la direccion de you tube que a algun pana la subio (en partes), si quieres ver esta pelicula recomiendo que lo hagas de uva antes que los propios de google la saquen.
